Catching up......

The Big Catch Up….!!!

It has been such a crazy time these last few weeks…..I haven’t had the energy to keep up with my blog. There is so much in my head, but I don’t know where to start. This may get a little jumbled….hope you can keep up…lol

We have been noticing some deterioration with Dad….we knew it was coming…we’ve always known it’s coming…but that doesn’t make seeing it any easier. I think that over the months since his diagnoses…a year ago now…we’ve kinda put the worst out of our minds and dealt with the day to day stuff. Now that things are progressing, we aren’t able to deny any longer that Dad is going to die from this cancer….and it sucks, and it’s not fair, and it makes me mad, and it makes me sad, and it makes me…..a whole bunch of other emotions. On Friday morning, Dad took another fall. It happened in the bathroom, at 3:00 in the morning. Alex came running into our room to tell me that Nanny was calling and calling because Papa was on the floor. So up the stairs fly Johnnie and I. We find him on the floor in the bathroom, but because he had the door closed when he fell, we can’t open it. His head is almost against the door. Johnnie managed to get in, but couldn’t do much to help because Dad’s back was in such pain. We had to call 911. It took 2 paramedics and 4 firefighters to get him out of the bathroom on a medal backboard. Poor Dad. Seeing him carried out by all these men, it was so hard for me. Mom and I got dropped off at the hospital by Johnnie and we began the long wait. The paramedic had told us at the house that the hospital was crazy busy…..but when we got there it wasn’t so bad. We were quite shocked that they had Dad in a room, seen by the Dr. and admitted within 2 hours. Pretty amazing…!! So…this is where he is. In the RVH with a fractured back. They won’t release him until he can get out of bed and walk with a walker. Dad is refusing to get up and now wants my Mom to feed him….LOL… I think it’ll be a little bit before he is released. They are keeping him pretty comfortable on Oxycontin….he is showing some considerable confusion…but who wouldn’t on those kinda drugs. It’s now a keep him comfortable and as happy as we can until one of them wins…Dad gets up and walks out….or the Dr’s give up and send him home in a wheelchair…..the wait begins.  Tomorrow morning we leave for our vacation...I have some mixed feelings about going...but Dad has said that if I don't go he'll be mad...so off we will go.


We’re at the Cape….

We are finally here….and I am worried about home. I didn’t wanna come this time. I thought I should stay home and help Mom. I hate the thought of her being all alone. I had to realize (with help from an older sister) that I am not the only one who can help take care of Mom. I am not her only child and it’s okay for me to go away and enjoy myself while someone else takes over. So, with things under control (not mine) at home, we left for Cape Croker.



I LOVE THIS PLACE!!!!! It is so peaceful here and the view has always been glorious to me. As we were unpacking and getting things sorted, I looked out into the bay and there was five or six sail boats making their way in…..it was such a beautiful sight. It made me realize just how much I really did need this vacation. I needed to spend some time with my husband and my son. I needed to spend some time with ME. It made me happy that I came.

We had a pretty great day. Our friends Dave and D, who we camp with every year for the past five or so, came and the kids swam and had fun. We went up to their site for dinner and it was awesome. The kids had a great time making smores by the fire, and then it hit….someone decided that it would be oh so much fun to have some fireworks…now I like everyone, enjoy the fireworks…unfortunately, our Mortimer does not. The dogs had been laying peacefully in the truck….and then the fireworks. They literally scared the shit out of Mortimer. Johnnie went to check on them and the whole truck had been “mortified”….lmao. Mortimer had pooped all over….it smelled so bad. It was on their leashes and on the matts and on the carpets….and even on the plug for Alex’s laptop…..EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW it was everywhere. So needless to say…we are going to be shampooing the inside of our van………Dave gave Johnnie this cherry smelling stuff to try and help….now it smells like cherry poo… oh the joys…..:-D

Day 2….at the Cape.

I am sitting at the table in the trailer…all alone. I am really enjoying it. Johnnie took Alex and the dogs for a walk. I am sitting here trying to forget that the truck smells like poo…..actually, cherry poo………..:-D

We will have to go and get some stuff to clean the carpets and the rest of the van. I managed to clean the leashes, as best I could and Alex’s lap top cord…with Lysol wipes. When we go into the town I will buy a couple of leashes at the dollar store…I cannot walk the dogs with poo poo leashes…just can’t do it…LMHO…For now though, I am enjoying the birds chirping and the cool, fresh air coming in through the windows. The neighbours on both sides are packing up, which hopefully means a nice quiet week.

I love this place…!!!!

Day 3 through to the end......

We are very much enjoying our time with Diana and Dave and all the kids.  It is so nice to see Alex around the kids who know him and know how he is....they just have fun...no worries...... I haven't had alot of time to blog, but have been spending alot of time reading.  Johnnie and Alex went to a market in Oliphant and came back with lots of books.  Alex helped Dad pick out some James Patterson books for me...I love that my son knows me so well....:-)  What a great kid..!!

Today Diana wanted to get a tattoo....we toyed with the idea of getting matching ones, but Diana decided that she would love to get the teenage tattoo on her arm covered up with a cross that she had picked out.  I decided not to get one..................UNTIL............until Diana was getting hers and I could here the zzzz of the tattoo maching doing it's work...........omg I love that sound....LMHO...I have become a tattoo junkie.  I came across a sun drawing in one of Dean's (the native artist who does tattoos on the reserve) books.  I fell in love with it and it immediately made me think of when Alex was a baby and I would rock us in the rocking chair by his crib and sing "you are my sunshine" to him.  It was our song.  I sang it to him for years. Soooo that was that......another tattoo made it's way onto my body.....and I couldn't be happier....Johnnie on the other hand, he thinks I'm going overboard and that I should stop now....actually, he said thats enough, no more this year...........BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....it still makes me laugh that after 13 years Johnnie still trys to "put his foot down".......lmao.....if I really wanted another one, he would take me and probably even pay for it.....!!  That's my Johnnie.

So Diana and Dave have left for Quebec.  We all feel their absence...it's just not the same camping without them.  We will however enjoy some peaceful quiet together for the next few days.  We all need it, and it will be too soon when it's time to pack up. 

Eddy (our native friend who works at the park) comes by every once in a while for chatting and coffee...he loves his coffee.  We even had him for dinner one night...it was really nice.

So today is Wednesday and we have decided to leave early.  We are all feeling a little homesick, and worried about Mom and Dad.  So, we packed up and had the trailer towed to the front, where my father will pick it up on Saturday.  Home we go.

We got home and got unpacked and then Johnnie and I decided to surprise my parents at the hospital.  Unfortunately Mom had just left....we must have driven past her and not noticed....Dad however.....his face brightened when I walked in and he saw me.  He held out his arm to hug me and said "boy am I happy to see you"......that felt so nice.....soo soo nice....!  We're home....

Friends are so important.....!!!!!!

So tonight was coffee night.  And it was so much fun.  It is always so much fun and I am always so glad that I went.  But getting there for me is hard.  Things are so busy here with Mom and Dad that I am so tired and don't feel like going out.  I have to push myself to reconnect with the friends that I haven't seen in what feels like so long.  I realised tonight, that it is so important for me to push myself to go.  I love being around those other homeschooling mamas who feel my pain, LOL.  It is so necessary for me as a person, to have that connection with other woman.  I feel so energised and good about myself.  I take advantage of myself sometimes.....and I need to be reminded every once in a while that I am a vibrant and happy woman...not just a mom, wife, daughter, caregiver etc......I'm a pretty darn funny woman...:-)

Thanks so much girls for helping me to remember....:=)

And I promise that I will get those blogs from our camping trip up a.s.a.p.